A lot will change for you after a divorce, but even more is going to change for your children, who have no real control over the situation. Finding ways to parent in such a way that will help your kids adjust is very important after a divorce. The following are six tips to manage parenting during and after a divorce.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Did your parents divorce when you were young? How did that make you feel? Even if they didn’t, try to put yourself in the shoes of your children. Your whole world is being turned upside down, you now have two homes, two sets of clothes, you are going at least a day without seeing one of your parents, and this list goes on. When your children act out or get sad, or start exhibiting other behavioral issues, make sure to keep this in mind when deciding how to respond. This is especially important in the first few months after the divorce.
Authentic Co-Parenting
Co-parenting has almost become a buzzword these days, and in many ways it has lost a lot of its meaning. Authentic co-parenting, however, is very important for the well-being of your children. This means putting their needs first when making decisions, being civil toward the other parent when at events for the kids, including the other parent in the decision making the process of big events for the child, not disparaging or undermining the other parent in front of the child, and much more. Co-parenting may be difficult, but your child will adjust to the circumstances much more easily and will benefit from the lack of conflict.
Be Consistent & Dependable
Things can be very scary for kids after a divorce no matter how old they are. Things that were once normal are now very unpredictable. To help build a foundation for your kids, make sure you are as consistent and dependable as possible. This applies to things like being there when you say you would, encouraging family traditions, and following through with commitments made.
Have Your Children See a Therapist
An experienced child therapist who specializes in post-divorce counseling can be very helpful for many kids. Even if your child is reluctant to go, it can provide a good outlet for their emotions. Therapy can last for just a few weeks, or years, depending on the needs of your child.
Use the Courts
This one may sound surprising, but in many situations it can actually be very helpful. Conflict between parents is one of the worst things for your children and, except in very rare situations, ex-spouses typically don’t get along perfectly when they have to come to mutual agreements. Getting a court order to stop a parent from behaving in a detrimental way, to enforce a parenting plan, or to pay child support helps in ensuring that the everyone is acting in the child’s best interest. Contact Annette Sanchez Law to talk with an attorney about how we can help.
